Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
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