I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
