dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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