its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
