My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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