All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of j�ger and an empty bed here Friday.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
