Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
