I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
