oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
