actually, I'm a sock model
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
