If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
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