HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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