I never want to see another naked old woman again.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
