There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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