Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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