The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize
