youre lurking in front of me
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
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