i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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