the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Define "chronic" masturbator.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
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