There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Randomize
