It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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