I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
