I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
