I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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