I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
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