If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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