The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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