Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
did i walk over a car last night?
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
