I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Randomize
