He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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