omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize