he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
