All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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