Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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