dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
i can't believe i had my finger in that
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
