There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Randomize
