I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
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