So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
