i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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