Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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