i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I need to align my fucking chakras
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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