he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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