There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
