Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
