I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
