Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
