hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
