the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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