help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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