3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
