You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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