Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
