He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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