What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
