Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
